Doing Things When You’re Used to Doing Nothing…

Many of you who live with a mental illness have probably been accused of being lazy before. I know that I have.. many times.. probably too many to count.

The worst part is, I often accuse myself of being lazy. My doctors inform me of limitations on my energy that I need get used to, but I can’t.

There was a time in my life when I was a multitasker.. capable of many things.. I understand that things are different, now that I have chosen to take medications to temper my symptoms.

Regardless of the medications that tire you out, bipolar alone is an energy bandit whenever you are stuck between episodes, and even worse, when you in the depressive cycles, which seems to strike most individuals with bipolar far more frequently than the sometimes pleasant(ish) moments of mania. Read more

Family & Illness

I wanted to come clean about a few things here. I was not an easy kid. In general, I would say that I was not easy to be around once I hit puberty.

There were many reasons for this, most of which are not relevant to include here, but one of the reasons was the fact that I was dealing with a mental illness.

Both of my parents tried to get me to see a doctor when I was quite young, but I refused to go.  Read more

Continued Trials & Errors and my time on lithium

If you revisit my last post, we were discussing the various medications that I had been prescribed, up to my taking the CAMH IMPACT study DNA test.

It is at this time that I was taken off most of the drugs that had been prescribed by the first doctor to diagnose me as bipolar and start a process that would span years trying to find another cocktail that would work.

I was still very early on in my journey at this point and I was unaware of what the “success” of one drug or another really looked like. Read more

Trial & Error

Bipolar disorder, regardless of what type you may be dealing with, is historically very difficult to treat. If you are dealing with bipolar yourself, you have probably already know what I mean. It isn’t as easy as going to the doctor and getting a prescription for some secret pill that will take away all your problems.

Why would they make anything easy on us, right?

For those of you who may be at the beginning of your mental health journey, you deserve to know what lays ahead. You will likely have to experiment with many different drugs, different dosages, and different cocktails before you find what works for you.

Even then, you will likely be dealing with a host of side effects that can range from weight gain, tardive dyskinesia (tremor), issues with body temperature regulation, issues with taste and dry mouth, and many, many more. Read more

Let’s start at the very beginning…

I wanted to start by giving you a more in depth introduction of myself and to give further insight of my experience with bipolar disorder.

As many of you who may be suffering from bipolar disorder can understand, many of the day-to-day struggles that so many other people seem to step right over are like knee-high trenches of mud when you’re feeling low. Your energy levels are always completely sapped. It may be difficult to complete simple tasks.

I believe that a good deal of this is part of the disorder, however, it is my feeling that even more of this can be attributed to the medications that we must take to avoid symptoms that could be devastating. I find myself often questioning which way of life is worse. One where I am practically bedridden, or another where I might rack up $2,000 in credit card charges overnight or go back to drinking, after nearly 5 years of sober living. Read more