I very recently had an appointment with a psychologist for the first time in a super long time. It is highly recommended that you engaged in some kind of psychotherapy if you are dealing with mental illness, however, this type of therapy is not covered in Ontario.. so some of us must go without.

As I’ve mentioned over my last several posts, I have been struggling a great deal with my sleeping schedule lately, and this day was no different.

By the time we got to Niagara, where my appointment was to take place, I was nearing almost 20hrs without sleep.. again. I could feel myself slurring when I spoke of symptoms, which isn’t representative of how I have been feeling lately, because truthfully, I’ve been feeling really good.

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1,000 Different Directions..

I was a little short on posts last week and I feet it necessary to offer some explanation as to the reason for my absence in posting.This is a super new blog and I absolutely don’t want to get into the habit, this early in the game, being a no-show for any new readers who may be finding my blathering relevant to them.

If you are someone who may have noticed my absence, then I thank you so much for caring. It really means so much to me.

Let me start by saying that I am feeling mentally fine and that, thankfully, it hasn’t been an issue of mental health that has kept me away.

In fact, I guess you could say that the exact opposite is true.

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Doing Things When You’re Used to Doing Nothing…

Many of you who live with a mental illness have probably been accused of being lazy before. I know that I have.. many times.. probably too many to count.

The worst part is, I often accuse myself of being lazy. My doctors inform me of limitations on my energy that I need get used to, but I can’t.

There was a time in my life when I was a multitasker.. capable of many things.. I understand that things are different, now that I have chosen to take medications to temper my symptoms.

Regardless of the medications that tire you out, bipolar alone is an energy bandit whenever you are stuck between episodes, and even worse, when you in the depressive cycles, which seems to strike most individuals with bipolar far more frequently than the sometimes pleasant(ish) moments of mania. Read more

Let’s start at the very beginning…

I wanted to start by giving you a more in depth introduction of myself and to give further insight of my experience with bipolar disorder.

As many of you who may be suffering from bipolar disorder can understand, many of the day-to-day struggles that so many other people seem to step right over are like knee-high trenches of mud when you’re feeling low. Your energy levels are always completely sapped. It may be difficult to complete simple tasks.

I believe that a good deal of this is part of the disorder, however, it is my feeling that even more of this can be attributed to the medications that we must take to avoid symptoms that could be devastating. I find myself often questioning which way of life is worse. One where I am practically bedridden, or another where I might rack up $2,000 in credit card charges overnight or go back to drinking, after nearly 5 years of sober living. Read more